In Rebecca Walker's article, "Lusting for Freedom" she discusses the importance of learning and exploring all that sex has to offer and goes even further to say that instead of feeling ashamed or embarrassed about openly talking about sex and experimenting with such a natural part of life, we, women, should feel rightfully compelled to explore our bodies and share our experiences. While I don't intend to advocate that 11-year-old girls should be having sex all the time, I do think Walker brings up a very important point in that traditionally most cultures have looked at premarital sex without the intention of reproduction as something shameful and inappropriate. As a result, women who engage in premarital sex or sex for the purpose of pleasure usually feel like they have to keep it a secret and thus don't ever talk about their experiences or their feelings or thoughts on the subject. As Walker points out, this definitely has the potential to lead women down the path of unprotected sex or violence because they just don't have enough information on how to practice safe sex. However, as Western culture has begun to make sex more acceptable and has even promoted sex, women who have a lot of sex, especially with different partners are still labeled "whores" or "sluts" which only makes women feel the need to hide their sex lives to avoid shame and embarrassment even more.
In "Tight Jeans and Chania Chorris", Sonia Shah describes her little sister who has been conformed by Western norms to embrace tight jeans and "sexy" tops and flirting with boys to catch their attention, which Walker also admitted was part of her sexual drive. This makes me wonder -- is a woman's desire for sex driven by the need for personal exploration and revelation, or by her need for attention, which also provides a personal gratification. I think Walker would say both factors play into a woman's desire to engage in sex, but often times, especially at younger ages, I think the need for attention and social approval compels young girls to engage in sex before they have physically and emotionally developed.
Although Walker was lucky enough to have safe sexual encounters, sometimes girls who have sex before they have enough information or are really ready end up with STDs or early pregnancies or find themselves in dangerous situations including the possibility of rape. However, I do think with the correct information and intentions, women have every right to explore their bodies sexually and even more to talk about their experiences and feelings in order to increase awareness and promote safe sex. Furthermore, I think women should be able to do so without being labeled as a slut or a whore if their intentions are simply to find a sense of pleasure and empowerment in the act of sex. Unfortunately, often times young girls feel pressured into having sex for reasons including attention, approval and the desire to fit in when in reality they are not truly not ready for sex.
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jessi, you have written a very good post. i like how you brought both stories together.
ReplyDeleteBoth stories were quite interesting, and they really argue some issues our culture has deeply placed with sex. One thing they dont mention at all though is love. Walker depicts sex as just a liberating experience, and puts very little emphasis on the partner..... to me it just seems like shes making sex all about a woman. But at the end of her article she throws in the words "making love" i feel like this term is innapropriate for her whole article, because shes talking about the physical, and the sensual, not about love but about conforming herself to get what she wants. Knowing she is not being true to herself but still getting what she wants. She somewhat reminds me of Samantha off of Sex and the city. Although I don't have any problems with a woman exploring her sexual side, call me old fashioned but I dont think someone should be so careless with their body as walker was..... the world is a grungy place, and there is some grungy people out there. even more so, Walker depicts how she had sex when she wasn't even matured as a woman. I think a girl should only engage in sex when they are ready and physically matured. Shah's article to me just proved that Levy's raunch culture is everywhere, and that we as women can be fooled into this sense of empowerment from trying to please a man.
I found myself thoroughly creeped out, for lack of a better term, reading Walker's article. The different personas she describes in attempting to transform herself into a woman that the man she desired would fall in love with goes against her thesis entirely. Why is she conforming to what he wants and feeding into his desires if she honestly believes sex is pretty much all about the woman? I don't mean to sound like a prude, but I really disagree with most of her assessment and views on sex. I understand that she's all about self-exploration, and finding new ways to bring pleasure to sex without feeling ashamed about our bodies or our experiences. However, where her argument begins to lose face for me is her lack of recognition of her partner, as Brittany has pointed out. Isn't sex a mutual act? Isn't it "supposed" to be an experience between two consenting people? She talks about cultivating "healthy intimacy," but I would hardly describe her experiences as intimate. Intimacy generally refers to a feeling experienced between two people in a close personal relationship. Her relationships sound pretty superficial to me and quite self-serving. When the guy she was with stopped meeting her needs sexually (or intellectually she points out), she called it quits. She has a complete disregard for true intimacy -- she acknowledges the importance of sex to women and how it should be pleasurable for women -- but doesn't describe how her male partner felt, what he thought, how the experience was for him. I would think for sex to be as sensual, as dynamic and as intimate as she describes, her sexual partner should be experiencing the same feelings of self-actualization and satisfaction. Sex is a two person act, and Walker comes off as very self-involved and self-serving in this article, and it's something that is very difficult for me to get past in reading it.
ReplyDeleteWhile reading Walker’s story, I was struck by many of the same things that bothered Lisa and Brittany. I think Lisa hit my problem on the spot, calling out Walker’s adoption of various personalities to please the many men she had sex with. Although Walker can claim that having such an active sex life is empowering, if she is having sex under these false pretenses, there is hardly anything empowering about it. Despite the fact that Walker’s idea of empowerment may be lost throughout her story, I do think she brings about several good ideas regarding sexuality. I really liked her idea of finding a way “to build the bridge between sex and sexuality.” I think there is such a disconnect between these two things. People can have active sexual lives, similar to Walker’s, and not clearly understand and relate to their own sexuality. For Walker, her understanding of her sexuality came through her various sexual relationships. Walker is right when she writes about the importance of communication and sex. Sex should not be considered something that is taboo, nor should women who “give their bodies what they want and crave…should be called sluts and whores.”
ReplyDeleteI also had some trouble getting through Collins’ article about black sexual politics. While I found some of her points interesting, I generally disagreed with her argument about blacks and sexuality. I don’t seem to understand why she decided to categorize Jennifer Lopez with African American women. I think that Latina women, in their own category, are often objectified for their bodies as well, and Collins fails to mention that. Latina women are objectified not only for their bodies, but society paints the picture of the Latina living a life of sexual passion and fervor. I also thought that Collins’ closing argument about Destiny’s Child’s clothing was very far fetched. I don’t understand how the girls in the group dressing in animal skin bikinis can resemble the “past practices of associating Africans with animals.” Where is Collins basing this argument?
In response to the "Lusting for Freedom" aspect of these posts, I agree with Jessi that many times these young girls are not ready for sex. It varies for every girl and Walker was unusually lucky in her experiences. As a result I think she overglorifies aspects of sex and comes across as ignorant when she says "We need protection only from poverty and violence" (Walker, 24). We can't protect young girls hearts that will be broken in relationships and first time experiences, but we can guide them and provide them with more protection than simply poverty and violence. That kind of oversimplification I think weakened a lot of what she was saying and really demonstrated to me a level of immaturity that I would have a hard time listening to and taking advice from.
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ReplyDeleteJessi, you have done a nice job of summarizing and connecting Rebecca Walker and Sonia Shah’s articles. You have also raised some key points that individuals should consider prior to engaging in premarital sex. I agree with you that there is nothing wrong with premarital sex between two consenting partners who are educated with regards to their decision. While this is true, there are major problems that exist which result in pressured premarital intercourse. Children are often not properly educated to the positive and negative aspects of sex. Also, societal biases too often cause individuals to feel pressured into having sex. Girls who engage in or are contemplating having sex often choose not to discuss it with their friends and peers due to a fear of being labeled a “slut” or “whore.” This often leaves individuals insulted and alone. Children need to be provided an unbiased education of premarital sex that includes positive and negative aspects. This education should be allotted through a wide array of sources. Some of these may include but are not limited to: teachers, parents, doctors, television, the Internet, and articles. Societal norms often pressure youth to participate in sex before they are emotionally ready. Numerous girls desire attention from the boys and fear being labeled a “prude.” Individuals do not want to be outsiders. The question is how to increase the self-esteem of youth so that individuals make independent decisions that are best for him/her and not based on societal pressures.
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